(All examples refer to partner dances, such as lindy hop, salsa, tango, etc.)

How to Dance (as a man) with a Woman.

• Make a polite request to dance, whether by eye contact, verbal communication, or hand motions, and wait for a response. Do not grab her hand and jerk her to the dance floor—you wouldn’t do that while you’re dancing, so refrain from such behavior prior to the dance.
• Lead her onto the dance floor. You begin leading the moment after you make the request; it is somewhat awkward for her to lead you onto the floor, only to wait for you to start leading so she can follow.
• Keep your priorities straight: Dance with her. Lead things that she can comfortably follow (and/or things that you can comfortably lead); if she’s having trouble staying with you, dance to her level. (This does not mean, however, that you should avoid trying different and novel steps and patterns. Creativity is not necessarily a function of skill level.) Protect her from other dancers. Smile at her. Make the experience fun for you both.
• Thank her for the dance when it is over. This means actually saying “thank you”, not just blinking twice in rapid succession.
• Bonus points: Escort her off of the dance floor to the relative safety of the seating areas. This will leave an indelible impression on her.

How to Ask a Man to Dance (as a woman).

• Find a man who is not dancing or is in the process of asking someone else to dance.
• Ask, in a kind and calm manner (versus desperately and hysterically), “Would you like to dance?”
• If he says “yes” (as the vast majority will), begin dancing with him. To make the experience rewarding for him, follow his lead to the best of your ability and smile. Leads like it when follows smile.
• If he says “no”, listen for a reason. He may be tired from the previous fast dancing, in which case he may offer to dance with you at a later time. If he doesn’t offer a reason, give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is just having a bad day (versus assuming that he is a jerk).

How to Get a Man to Ask You (a woman) to Dance.

• (This works best when you have shared a delightful dance with the man in question.)
• Ensure that he is not already dancing with someone else or is in the process of asking someone to dance.
• Make your presence known at the beginning of the song. And make it absolutely obvious. For example, stand directly next to or in front of him. Make coy or silly faces at him. Tap him on the shoulder. Most importantly, flash that Winning Smile at him.
• Most men will pick up on your obvious cue and ask you to dance (… even though you admittedly did all the work. Such is the life of a follow who wants to spend the vast majority of the time on the dance floor.) If he is not recognizing the cue (because he is preoccupied, oblivious, or autistic), see “How to Ask a Man to Dance”.

Potential Injuries That May Occur While Dancing (bonus information).

• squashed toes
• bloody noses
• slapped face
• sprained ankles
• broken legs
• bruised shins
• kicked belly