A. How to Apply to College.

• send high school transcripts
• send proof of (pending) graduation from high school
• send SAT (and possibly ACT) scores
• write a personal statement describing naive and idealistic reasons for attending college
• send a personal photo of pre-determined dimensions, no bigger, no smaller
• submit a common application form
• pay money

B. How to Apply to Medical School.

• complete step A
• send college transcripts
• send proof of (pending) graduation from college
• send MCAT scores
• write a personal statement describing noble and upstanding reasons for entering medicine
• cajole (at least three) professors to write letters of recommendation filled with vague platitudes
• send an updated curriculum vitae
• submit a common application form
• pay (more) money

C. How to Apply to Residency.

• complete steps A and B
• send medical school transcripts
• send proof of (pending) graduation from medical school with notarized and embossed seal
• send the Dean’s Letter (which is almost never written by the Dean)
• send USMLE Step 1 and 2 scores
• write a personal statement describing passionate and dedicated reasons for choosing the desired medical specialty
• plead (at least three) attending physicians to write letters of recommendation filled with generic commendations
• send an updated curriculum vitae
• submit a common application form
• pay (even more) money

D. How to Apply to Fellowship.

• complete steps A, B, and C
• send medical school transcripts
• send proof of graduation from medical school with notarized and embossed seal
• send the Dean’s Letter (which is almost never written by the Dean)
• send proof of (pending) completion of residency (original copies only, please)
• send USMLE Step 1, 2, and 3 scores
• write a personal statement describing reasons for pursuing yet another cursed year of specialized medical education in a narrow discipline (limit to 1/2 page at most)
• wheedle (at least three) attending physicians to write letters of recommendation filled with fluffy accolades
• send an updated curriculum vitae
• submit a common application form
• pay (not as much) money, primarily for plane tickets

I seem to apply to something every four years.