It was chilly inside her car. The fuzzy white glow of her dashboard lights dimly illuminated the interior of the parked vehicle. We both still had our seatbelts buckled. I was watching the raindrops splash onto the windshield and dribble down the glass.

“I was really pissed at you during conference,” my good friend said to me.

Surprised, I turned to look at her. “You were? Why?”

“Because you’re going to New York,” she answered. “I wanted to make a paper airplane and write ‘I’m really angry at you’ on it and throw it at you.”

I turned my head back and smiled sadly.

“But I didn’t,” she continued, “because that probably would have been disruptive.”

“Yeah,” I lamely agreed, before launching into a Warm and Fuzzy Moment™ with her.

It has started.

“Wait—you’re moving to New York?” a lead asked as we started to dance. He has this habit of consistently leading me into other couples while dancing—it’s never intentional, but somehow always works out that way. It’s now a running (dancing?) joke.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“Oh, man—that sucks,” he commented. After leading one swing out, he then concluded with the enthusiasm of a popped balloon, “Well… congratulations.”

I’m not going anywhere soon, but a quiet urgency now exists.

“Why don’t you just rent out your place?” another friend asked, futzing with the ends of her bright scarf.

“Because I don’t want to be a landlord who is 3,000 miles away,” I replied.

“But you should rent out your place,” she insisted, “it’s a reasonable thing to do.”

Smiling, I playfully demanded, “Why do you care if I rent out my place or not? Are you looking for a place to live?”

My smile melted a bit when she just as forcefully shot back, “Because if you rent it out, that means you’ll come back!”

(That’s not a logical argument, but she made her point, nonetheless.)

It’s not all sad, of course—people beam with enthusiasm upon learning about my future destination:

• “You’re going to have so much fun in New York.”
• “I have a feeling you’ll really like it there.”
• “There is so much art and culture there! It’ll be amazing!”
• “I think it’s great that you’re going there—what a wonderful opportunity!”

Many plan to vicariously live through me, whether they’ve ever lived in New York or not.

And then:

• “So… do you think you’re going to come back?”

And then I wonder, Why am I doing this again…?

Seattle has been (and continues to be) good to me: I’ve met wonderful people here, been blessed with close and meaningful relationships, and learned new and amazing things.

I could say that about every place I’ve lived: Life has been generous to me. I’ve had the pleasure of walking barefoot on the soft, bleached sand of the beaches in Southern California during sunset. I’ve seen world-famous magicians perform at The Magic Castle, performed in a world-renowned marching band (was in the “U” for one year, in the “A” for three years), and enjoyed some of the best Persian food outside of Iran. I’ve seen the unbelievably blue waters of Lake Tahoe with my own eyes, eaten some of the best burritos in the country, and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge—more than once. I’ve had the opportunity to learn medicine!

… and what about all of the lovely individuals who I was lucky enough to walk with in the world?

It is both a blessing and a curse that humans are able to simultaneously experience discordant emotions. Yes, of course I am excited, thrilled, eager, etc. about my upcoming adventure—

—and sad, a bit scared, uncertain, etc. about my pending departure.