In late 2001, Britney Spears released her single, “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” off of her Britney album (which also included the text message-friendly single “I’m a Slave 4 U”). This song is a ballad about adolescence, when one is struggling with identity versus role confusion (hat tip: Erik Erikson).

In early 2002, an Asian female put on a blonde wig, wiggled into tight pants, and wore a halter top that revealed her navel a la Britney Spears and, seated at a piano, sang the following song at the medical school talent show:

“I’M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A DOCTOR”

I used to think
I needed A’s on everything
But now I know
That seventy percent is A-OK
Apathy quickly takes over
That’s when I realize

I’m not a girl
Not yet a doctor
I just need to pass, every single class
To earn my MD
I’m not a girl

I’m a second year med student
It’s time that I
Started to study for the USMLE
I’ve slacked off much more than you know now
Sp don’t think that I will do fine

I’m not a girl
Not yet a doctor
I’ll just do my best, and hope I pass this test
To earn my MD
I’m not a girl

But if you grade my test closely
You will see the answer’s right
This girl will one day earn her degree

(I’m not a girl) I’m not a girl, but my transcript has all P’s
(Not yet a doctor) I’m just trying to find the doctor in me, yeah
(I just need to pass)
(Every single class)
To earn my MD

I’m not a girl, not yet a doctor, no no
I just need to pass, every single class
To earn my MD

I’m not a girl, ooh
Not yet a doctor

Ah, an ode to mediocrity. How delightful it is to find these gems when sorting through items in preparing to move.

I particularly like how I specifically wrote in the “yeah” and “ooh”.