Hey, is it true that people in New York City are rude?

People here are not more rude; often, they are merely more direct. Because of the mass of people in this city, individuals are simultaneously much more forgiving and much more impatient than individuals in other cities. Most people seem more “situationally aware”, though there are also many people who seem to forget that they are sharing space with millions of other people.

Example: An elderly couple is walking down the sidewalk. They appear to be in their seventies or eighties; her fingers are wrapped around his arm. He is walking with a cane. Their postures are slightly stooped and they are walking slowly down the street. They pass a subway station and nearly one hundred people are streaming out of it.

People don’t sigh or roll their eyes; they pack in behind each other. Once they see the cause for the bottleneck, they deftly pass around the elderly couple and provide them with enough berth so that the couple does not feel cramped. Some people turn sideways as they pass; others simply walk in the street. It is a non-event. This is forgiving.

Another example: A young woman is talking on her cell phone. She is seated in the middle of the stairs leading into the subway. She makes no motion to get up and move. She is not tearful or otherwise passionately engaged in the conversation.

People skip down the stairs to catch a subway and, realizing that this young woman is blocking the path (and can easily talk elsewhere on the phone), loudly and annoyingly comment, “EXCUSE ME!” while passing her. They make no great effort to go around her or to even descend down the stairs on the other side of the handrail (though they are empty); they almost ensure that they almost kick the young woman. This is impatience.

So are East Coast men really more direct and forward than West Coast men when trying to capture the attention of women?

Men in New York City are not necessarily a representative sample of East Coast men… and I have not met men from all parts of the West Coast (though I can report from my own experience only that men in Southern California are generally more proactive in courting women than men in Northern California… and men in Northern California are generally more proactive than men in Seattle).

Those qualifications aside, I think the answer to that question is, “Generally, yes.” I experienced more advances from men in the first week I lived in New York City than in the last six months I lived in Seattle. No joke.

People in New York generally make more eye contact than people in Seattle and when men look, they really look and you know they’re looking. There’s little doubt that he is inspecting you. In other cities, it’s not so clear.

And there are men here who clearly pursue women as a sport. I’m talking about the men who make kissing noises or loud whistles when you walk past. Or the men who are explicit in their flirtations: “Hey, baby, look at me! Over here! Look at me!” Or the men who attempt to initiate conversations from many yards away: “You look good! Yeah, you, over there! I’d like some of that!”

There’s a reason why women in New York city can seem cold and aloof. The men in this city help train this steely visage. I’m just saying.

Is New York City really dirty?

For the volume of people who live here, it’s actually remarkably clean. There’s not a lot of litter in the streets. On garbage days, there are pyramids of filled garbage bags on the sidewalk, though they disappear regularly. (Where does all the New York CIty trash go?) The excretory products of dogs are common appearances on the sidewalks, though these are avoidable if one is situationally aware (see the first question). The sky doesn’t have the blanket of smog that hangs over Los Angeles. Grime isn’t ubiquitous. The city doesn’t have the freshness of West Coast cities, but New York City gleams like no other.

Is everyone dressed super fashionably? Does everyone wear black?

Overall, people are groomed well here, though they are not necessarily adorned with the latest fashions. Thus, there are plenty of collared shirts and pencil skirts, though they need not be of the Versace, Calvin Klein, or Banana Republic types.

People here tend to exhibit more style in their clothes here and while the styles do span the spectrum, it’s actually more homogenous than I expected. People definitely dressed more punky in Seattle; I have yet to see the pierced, tattooed, and dyed Capitol Hill types in New York (even around Astor Place, East Village, etc.).

I have not seen many “Sex and the City” types in Manhattan, though I have witnessed this breed on Long Island. That’s a whole other post.

And, no, not everyone wears black. That may change as autumn settles in.