I typically use the end of the year as a time to reflect upon the past 365 days: What did I accomplish? Did I accomplish those things that I thought I would accomplish? What things did I accomplish without really intending to? And what does that mean? How can I use this information to change my approach to other goals?

I also use the end of the year to think about the upcoming 365 days: What do I want to accomplish? How will I go about accomplishing those things? How do these proposed goals reflect my values? Are they in line with my values? Are these goals true to myself (or, put another way, are these really my goals or someone else’s)?

I’m not sure if all of this navel-gazing is a socially conditioned phenomenon (the role of resolutions, the “death” of the year, etc.) or a personal quirk. In addition to considering the whats and hows of my goals, these reflections help me exercise gratitude.

It’s easy to think about all of those things that we don’t have that can lead us to feel grateful:

• I’m glad I’m not working on Christmas.
• I’m glad I don’t have cancer.
• I’m doubly glad that I don’t have two cancers.
• I’m glad that I am not drowning in “bad” debt.
• I’m glad that I didn’t lose everything in these hard financial times.

And on and on. While there is merit is remembering those things that are absent in our lives (even if they are generally considered misfortunes), that also avoids everything we do have. And it is much easier to influence those things that we do have, instead of those we don’t have. (Analogy: Is it easier to make a ball out of snow or out of air?)

I was recently talking with a friend about some heartbreaking news I had received. He is both a close, trusted friend and a psychologist… and, truth be told, his training definitely informed the questions he asked and the observations he shared with me. (In a good way.)

“You’re telling me what you don’t want,” he commented. “Think about what you do want and some ways you can reach those things.”

Fair enough. Thinking about those things that we do want and how to obtain them requires careful thought, planning, and risk. Thinking about those things that we are grateful for (and those goals we want) requires acceptance of our current circumstances—the “good” and the “bad”.

And acceptance of what “is” (instead of clinging to what “should be”) can be really, really hard.

Though not all readers (that would be you) celebrate Christmas, I wish you all a happy holiday and hope that you will have the opportunity before the end of the year to relax, recuperate, and consider the blessings you received in 2008, whether they were products of your own effort or gifts from sources known or unknown.

I also challenge you to drum up some goals for yourself for 2009. Change must start somewhere and in order to become the person you want to be, you must start actually being that person. Take the risk.